A Mother's Example | Cherry Blossom Portraits

/

“The process of shaping the child, shapes also the mother herself. Reverence for her sacred burden calls her to all that is pure and good, that she may teach primarily by her own humble, daily example.” - Elisabeth Elliot

If there is one thing motherhood has taught me, it is that my children learn more from what I do than what I say. If I find true enjoyment in something, they seem to enjoy it also. If I complain about something, I find they mimic my complaints later. They mirror the way I treat them, the way I talk to others, and the emotions I express. To my dismay, they often mirror my negative qualities along with the positive. “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” they say. And it’s true. So what kind of apples am I growing? What kind of tree am I?

Someone said once pointed out that we are not human-doings but human-beings. It is not what we do that makes us who we are, but what we love. What we love is what forms us. This truth makes me want to examine the things that I truly love, because I know that what shapes my heart will be what shapes my children’s. If I truly love God and the things of God those things will shape me and them. If I truly love my children, then my love and the security of that heart-knowledge will be what forms them.

So how do I find out what I truly love? I have to ask myself these things:

  • What do I value, truly value?

  • What gets my attention?

  • What gets my time?

  • What do I rush past other things to get to?

  • What things take up my thoughts?

If I’m honest, I often rush past the Lord and my children to get things done. Mothers do have many, many responsibilities. I value a clean house, schoolwork finished, peace and order, and checking things off the list. (I really do love that last one!) They’re not bad things to love, but not the best things. It is possible to love God most and my precious little ones while working towards those things. The problem is I often don’t get that part right. I pray I am most shaped by my love of God and love for the precious ones He’s given to me. It’s easy to see all the needs that come with each of those persons, but real love just sees them. The doing flows naturally out of LOVE. This was the example of Jesus - He never gave Himself begrudgingly. He never rushed past those who needed Him because He was too busy doing something else. He loved the Father first and spent time with Him, and loved us with all the rest.

His example must shape me, because my example will most shape theirs. (And not just them, but any others God gives to me to care for.) That is a weighty calling, but one that becomes light when Jesus is my greatest love. Psalm 86:15 says, “But you, my Lord, are a God of compassion and mercy; you are very patient and full of faithful love.” This is the example I want to emulate, though “very patient” is a hard one for me. I am not naturally a patient person. But what a truly beautiful privilege I have been given to help shape the five little hearts that have been entrusted to me! It’s not something that just happens. To get good fruit from a tree takes intentional care, pruning, good nourishment. The same goes for me and the little ones growing from my life.

I’ve found it helpful to make an intentional list of things I want to love, after the brutally honest list of my shortcomings:

I want to love:

  • Intentional, ongoing communication with God and time in His word

  • Stopping anything for relationships

  • Sharing about the majesty and mystery of God

  • Thoughtful generosity and selfless care

  • Enjoying beautiful things that point to God

  • Making beautiful things with others

  • Singing at the top of my lungs in worship

  • Making safe, inviting places to be not just do

  • Reading a mountain of good books (and sharing them)

  • Showing others how valued they are to God, and to me

I’m sure there are many more things to add. I pray these things shape me, and serve as the stepping stones for my children (and any who come behind) to far better and more wonderful things in Jesus. May their own trees far outgrow mine.